(noun, etymology Dutch from ‘boedel’: estate, possession, inheritance, stock.). 1. Crowd, pack, lot, as in ‘the whole boodle.’ 2. a. Counterfeit money b. Money acquired or spent illegally or improperly, particularly when used in bribery for political purposes. 3. Slang for money in general.

I’ve Got You Under a MisSpell

Posted on: Mar. 29, 2011  |  By: Ronnie Kahn  |  Category: General

Meet Manny Manager.  He is an all-thumbs (and way too big too), always-in-a-hurry Money Manager with no sense of humor and very little idea of what the context of any conversation is.  Being so busy, he also communicates mainly through text messages but unfortunately for his clients his phone is equipped with one of those auto-correcting, T-9 type fill-in the word functions.  As some of you may know, there are hilarious websites and books devoted to the problems of auto-correcting messages.  The ghost-in-the-machine seems to love the nonsense that comes from changing a letter or word and the often off-color, lewd, and mind-in-the-gutter discourse that it spews out.  We have included some of Manny Manager’s recent text messages to his always left in stitches clients.  After Manny’s typed out version, we have included a bracketed version of what Manny meant to write.

 

Client #1

What’s a good investment, right now?

Manny Manager

It’s a beer market [bear market]

Client #1

How do you trade that?

Manny Manager

Use a hump hops [stop loss]

Client #1

Beer?  Why not wine?

Manny Manager

Cork [cost]

Client #1

Next thing you will be telling me is that I need to hold my illegal drugs in a Joint Account.  What I mean is what investment looks attractive for me to have?

Manny Manager

Blue cute [blue chip]

Client #1

Whatever, then how do I get out of the financial mess I’m in now?

Manny Manager

Burrow [borrow]

Client #1

I can dig that.  What investments burrow?

Manny Manager

I already told you? The Fox [DOW]

Client #1

What does an animal have to do with it?

Manny Manager

Farm Money [Easy Money].  You could also do a Geese Fund [Hedge Fund].  They have a good bug [avg]

Client #1

Is that just on paper? As in flypaper.

Manny Manager

No, it’s a seal asset [real asset].  I can get you a stove [quote] if you like.

Client #1

Can I own it in a trust?

Manny Manager

Even a Rabbit trust [Rabbi Trust*].  Or you can try a small car [small cap]

Client #1

I am confused.  Should I buy or sell right now?

Manny Manager

It depends on your Disney income? [earned income]

Client #1

So, I should sell Disney?

Manny Manager

It could be a good cry [hold-buy].  Also there is your dumb asses [fund asset] unless you use a punch [stock].  Some type of casino [action] makes sense.

 

Client #2

Who does your taxes?

Manny Manager

My BRA [CPA]

 

Client #3

Do you think the Fed will try and stimulate the economy?

Manny Manager

Not to worry.  Live for Mom [now], as they say.

Client #3

I am not sure I am following

Manny Manager

Just worry about yourself right now

Client #3

So you mean self-stimulation?  Is that what Adam Smith meant by the invisible hand?

 

 

Client #4

What did you have to do when you lost the bet?

Manny Manager

Gay Up [Pay up]

Client #4

What?

Manny Manager

Yeah, it really screwed with my cash blow [flow].  It wasn’t good for my Fannie either.

 

Client #5

What kind of work does that guy do?

Manny Manager

Pro bone [pro bono]

Client #5

(laughing to himself)

What kind of asset is that, hey

Manny Manager

(unknowingly)

Hard asset.

Client #5

How do you start a business like that?

Manny Manager

Pubic Offering [public offering]

Client #5

Does he have to declare that income?

 

 

Client #6

What type of pills are deductible?

Manny Manager

Vitamins can be a opium med [write off]

 

 

Client #7

Who should I get a loan with?

Manny Manager

Your broke [broker]

Client #7

Isn’t there any loan I should get?

Manny Manager

Mixed [fixed] but it depends on your meat loaf [debt load].  You could take a loan and use it as a genie [hedge] providing the estimate was done right.

Client #7

What kind of estimate?

Manny Manager

Good fairy [faith]

 

 

Client #8

How does the rental investment work?

Manny Manager

I think for you they will make it Wet Wet [net net].  The income is a good blow [flow] and a good salve [value] that works like a come [bond].  Plus good leverage with a VAG moan [VA Loan].  I can show you a Iraqi [graph].  At least it’s not based on some doodoo [voodoo] economics.  That way it won’t turn into a toxic asses [asset]

Client #8

You may just have to wear that over your pink slip.

Manny Manager

Sink Skip? [pink slip].

Client #8

Just forget it, will ya?

 

We would love to hear from you if you have any funny or unusual auto-correct faux paus.

 

a Rabbi Trust is a trust where employee compensation is put into a trust to defer taxation and receipt of income.  It is usually used for deferred comp or non-qualified plans.  Its name is derived from the original IRS case where a synagogue was involved.

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